Heyya there guys! Just wanted to wish all of ya all A very blessed New Year!
As another year passes by, we gain experience from our past and look forward to learning new things and going through new barriers thats coming ahead. We should appreciate whatever we have now, our families, our friends and our mates. Thats what matters in life, what we enjoy every single bit of it without looking back except if to keep those wonderful memories. The past sorrows and pain, we should learn to forget and leave behind and as for our mistakes and what we have done to other people, we should ask for forgiveness cuz we are going through a new year where we are going to start another life for a year. A new beginning for the continuation of life. So as for my part, i would like to say sorry to each person i have hurt and disappointed. Lets kick ass as we rock on this new year together!

-signing off-
yours truly,
~jon

   I sit here wishing this night that things between us were better, that all this pain in whats life of my heart would go away. The past few days i was just fine, till tonight when she called me all the sorrows came into my broken heart again. I tought i could finally control my feelings, i tought that it could finally be over and have some peace, but i guess not... The shadows of my pain is lurking around the corner, haunting me, killing me slowly. I just wished things were different, that our love never existed. I hate myself for allowing you to hurt me like this. I hate myself for not being able to let go. I hate myself for loving you when you dont now. How pleasant it would be if L.O.V.E. disappeared. Nothing else hurts more than love, not falling down a bike, not being hit by a car, but the person that you're so in love with that holds your heart. I love her, but it seems pointless now. Even if we got back together, it will never be the same anymore, there would be a gap between us, distancing us apart. Its silly now to still be praying for a stronger relationship now that the trust is gone. Gosh, i still love her so much, i just wanted her to know that. Dear, I do love you so much, but I have no choice but to fade away now that i'm beginning to be invisible to you... I love you, but its too late i guess...

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  Tonight is another dark cold night. I dont see any stars in the sky, there isnt a single soul on the streets. The night feels so cruel that i could imagine evil lurking around.
My heart numbed by the pain, my brain dead from the cold and my eyes all dried up.
How much i want her to be the one to comfort me anytime, everytime. I want to share each moment of my life with her no matter happy or sad. I want her to be right beside me caring for me, comforting me as i do for her. I just feel so lost now that she is not around, it feels like theres a missing piece of my heart lying around somewhere but i just cant seem to find. It feels as though my life is incomplete, i need her so badly or i soon too will fade off into the dark, cold sky. If only i wasnt so stupid to make dumb mistakes all the time, maybe she could be still talking to me now. All i wanted was her full attention, for her to show me she loves me all the time. But sometime she just could push me aside as i was some 2nd hand junk. I'm just so frustrated, i love her, i want her, i need her but she dosent seem to need me as much anymore. Each day she seems to grow further and further apart from me, and i can do nothing but stare. I dont want to lose her, i want her for the rest of my life. I wish it was so simple. Sighs* ............

   Tonight as i gazed into the night sky, i counted the stars shining ever so brightly. So many stars filled the sky this night that i could barely count the exact number. It looks as if the night is filled with millions of diamonds thats' sparkling right into my eyes. It has been so long since i had seen a sky as beautiful as this. I miss her so much now, i wish someday i could just lie on the soft grass under the stars, her hands in mine and both of us just staring into the sky filled with such beautiful and majestic stars. Tonight, i cant stop thinking about her, i need her so badly. I cant imagine my life now without her. She is in every part of my life now, she is as important as the air i breath, without her i'd just fade away. The beauty of the sky tonight reminds me of her face, how it sparkles when she smiles at me. How i hope i could see that smile now, and her eyes looking right into mine as we wonder off to our own fantasy world. When i hold her in my arms it feels as if i am floating on air. GOSH! I love her, so much, too much. Btw, i got to a count of 32 stars tonight. If i had one wish, just one, i would be that i'll be together with her for 32 lifetimes.


sweetheart,
i loved you, i still do, and i always will. =)
                          <3

   Nowadays, people are getting from bad to worse. Especially the male race, not all individuals of course but some particular ones. These are the ones that really just has no standards. NO LIFE. The only thing they know how to do is eat, sleep, breath, lepak and disturb other prople's partners or in other words, ruin relationships. These are the scumbags of this country, the so called "sampah masyarakat". Dont these people have anything more benifitial to do than to ruin the lives of others? I guess they dont, or else they wont just hang around at pool centers smoking and "compliment-ing" away. I mean like come on, GET A LIFE! Like a job, or spend time with your family or something instead of trying to go out with other, younger girls. Some of these people already are fathers and husbands, who do they think they are? Fooling around with younger girls which are already taken when their wives are not around. Some of them are even old enough to be my father. If they dont like their wives then why the heck marry them? Cuz they had eye problems at that moment? These people are just full of bullshit and are super posers. I dont know if they are just so lifeless or they are just so, as the malay say, "kurang ajar".